45 Good Roasts That Hurt: Ultimate List of Savage One-Liners

45 Good Roasts That Hurt

• “You’re like a participation trophy—everyone gets one, but nobody really wants you.”
• “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong, and I have a reputation to maintain.”
• “You’re proof that evolution can go in reverse.”
• “If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.”
• “You’re like a software update—nobody asked for you, and you make everything worse.”
• “I’d explain it to you, but I left my crayons at home.”
• “You’re the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.”
• “If I wanted to hear from someone with no brain, I’d squeeze a stress ball.”
• “You’re like a cloud—when you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.”
• “I’d call you average, but that would be an insult to mediocrity.”
• “You bring everyone so much joy—when you leave the room.”
• “You’re like a penny—two-faced and not worth much.”
• “If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.”
• “You’re the human equivalent of a participation award.”
• “I’d insult you, but nature already did a better job.”
• “You’re like Monday mornings—nobody likes you.”
• “If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose.”
• “You’re living proof that not all mistakes can be erased.”
• “I’d agree to disagree, but I’d rather just be right.”
• “You’re like a broken pencil—pointless.”
• “If I had a dollar for every smart thing you said, I’d be in debt.”
• “You’re the reason they invented the mute button.”
• “I’d call you a tool, but that implies you’re actually useful.”
• “You’re like expired milk—unpleasant and nobody wants you around.”
• “If stupidity was a superpower, you’d be invincible.”
• “You’re like a slinky—not really good for anything, but you bring a smile when pushed down the stairs.”
• “I’d fight you, but I don’t hit people with glasses… or intelligence deficiencies.”
• “You’re the ‘before’ picture in everyone’s glow-up story.”
• “If I threw a stick, would you leave and never come back?”
• “You’re like a white crayon—nobody knows why you exist.”

45 Good Roasts That Hurt Clean

• “You’re so bright, I need sunglasses when you turn away.”
• “If wisdom came in drops, you’d be living in a drought.”
• “You’re like decaf coffee—what’s the point?”
• “I’d call you brilliant, but the sun doesn’t shine at night either.”
• “You’re the reason instruction manuals have pictures.”
• “If common sense was a currency, you’d be bankrupt.”
• “You’re like a dictionary—you add meaning only when someone else opens you up.”
• “I’d say you’re one in a million, but that’s still too frequent.”
• “You’re like a parking ticket—everyone wants to ignore you.”
• “If overthinking was an Olympic sport, you’d win without trying.”
• “You’re the human version of ‘Reply All.'”
• “I’d say you’re unique, but actually, there are plenty of mistakes.”
• “You’re like elevator music—forgettable and mildly annoying.”
• “If being wrong was a talent show, you’d get a standing ovation.”
• “You’re the reason people close their eyes when they pray.”
• “I’d call you a shooting star, but those actually have direction.”
• “You’re like airline food—everyone complains about you.”
• “If confusion had a face, it would still be less puzzling than you.”
• “You’re the speed bump on the highway of life.”
• “I’d say you light up a room, but so does a fire alarm.”
• “You’re like unsalted crackers—bland and unnecessary.”
• “If being humble was a contest, you’d brag about losing.”
• “You’re the typo in the book of life.”
• “I’d call you a treasure, but X marks the spot where you’re not.”
• “You’re like a GPS with no signal—completely lost.”
• “If effort counted, you’d still be at zero.”
• “You’re the bubble wrap nobody wants to pop.”
• “I’d say you’re going places, but so is garbage.”
• “You’re like a rainy day—people plan around you.”
• “If potential was pizza, you’d be the box.”

45 Good Roasts That Hurt One-Liners

• “I’d call you a snack, but you’re more like a whole meal—unwanted leftovers.”
• “You’re so dense, light bends around you.”
• “I’ve seen better arguments from flat-earthers.”
• “You’re the reason shampoo has instructions.”
• “I’d roast you, but my oven doesn’t go that low.”
• “You’re like a dial-up connection in a 5G world.”
• “I’d say you’re full of yourself, but there’s clearly nothing there.”
• “You’re what happens when the WiFi disconnects during character creation.”
• “I’d give you a nasty look, but you already have one.”
• “You’re like a pop quiz—unexpected and nobody wants you.”
• “I’d call you shallow, but puddles have more depth.”
• “You’re the plot hole in reality.”
• “I’d explain, but I don’t have puppets and finger paint.”
• “You’re like autocorrect—you think you’re helping, but you’re not.”
• “I’d call you sharp, but safety scissors have more edge.”
• “You’re the reason we can’t have nice things.”
• “I’d say you’re two-faced, but that would require having a personality.”
• “You’re like a fortune cookie without the fortune—empty and disappointing.”
• “I’d call you a comedian, but jokes are supposed to be funny.”
• “You’re the loading screen that never ends.”
• “I’d say you peaked in high school, but that implies you peaked.”
• “You’re like a spam email—everyone wants to delete you.”
• “I’d call you average, but curves have higher points.”
• “You’re the ‘Skip Ad’ button everyone looks for.”
• “I’d say you’re transparent, but at least glass serves a purpose.”
• “You’re like a screen door on a submarine—useless.”
• “I’d call you complex, but simple minds can’t be.”
• “You’re the YouTube ad nobody watches.”
• “I’d say you’re lost, but that would imply you had direction.”
• “You’re like a zero—you only matter when next to someone significant.”

45 good roasts that hurt one liners for adults

• “You’re the kind of Redditor who comments ‘This.’ and thinks they contributed.”
• “Your karma is higher than your IQ, and that’s saying something.”
• “You’re what happens when someone sorts by controversial.”
• “I’d downvote you, but you’re already at rock bottom.”
• “You’re like a repost—nobody wants to see you again.”
• “Your comments read like autocorrect had a seizure.”
• “You’re the reason subreddits have moderators.”
• “I’d debate you, but arguing with deleted comments is more productive.”
• “You’re like a locked thread—everyone’s glad you stopped.”
• “Your takes are hotter than a dumpster fire, and just as pleasant.”
• “You’re the embodiment of ‘source: trust me bro.'”
• “I’d award you, but they don’t make medals for participation in failure.”
• “You’re like a banned account—everyone knows why you’re gone.”
• “Your logic has more holes than Swiss cheese at a shooting range.”
• “You’re the kind of user who edits ‘thanks for the gold’ before getting gold.”
• “I’d follow you, but I don’t support lost causes.”
• “You’re like a megathread—long, confusing, and nobody reads you.”
• “Your opinions age like milk left in the sun.”
• “You’re the Reddit equivalent of dial-up internet.”
• “I’d screenshot this, but nobody wants proof you exist.”
• “You’re like a rickroll—annoying and predictable.”
• “Your arguments have less foundation than a house of cards.”
• “You’re the reason people say ‘don’t read the comments.'”
• “I’d recommend a subreddit for you, but quarantined zones exist.”
• “You’re like a throwaway account—nobody takes you seriously.”
• “Your hot takes are lukewarm at best.”
• “You’re the plot twist nobody wanted.”
• “I’d upvote your effort, but you didn’t make any.”
• “You’re like a wall of text—everyone skips past you.”
• “Your presence is the real NSFW content.”

45 Good Roasts That Hurt Dirty

• “You’re like a cheap hookup—regrettable and nobody admits to it.”
• “I’d call you hot, but that would make hell jealous.”
• “You’re proof that some things should stay wrapped.”
• “I’ve seen better performances from broken appliances.”
• “You’re like expired protection—risky and nobody wants to use you.”
• “I’d say you’re satisfying, but disappointment has standards.”
• “You’re what happens when expectations meet rock bottom.”
• “I’ve heard better noises from a dying car battery.”
• “You’re like bad foreplay—awkward and everyone wants it over.”
• “I’d rate you, but negative numbers don’t go low enough.”
• “You’re the reason people fake enthusiasm.”
• “I’ve seen more chemistry in a high school lab disaster.”
• “You’re like a cold shower—unwanted and sobering.”
• “I’d call you memorable, but repression is a powerful thing.”
• “You’re what people warn their friends about.”
• “I’ve seen better moves from furniture.”
• “You’re like morning breath—everyone notices, nobody mentions it.”
• “I’d say you’re experienced, but practice doesn’t fix everything.”
• “You’re the reason people say ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ when it’s definitely you.”
• “I’ve seen more spark from wet matches.”
• “You’re like lukewarm bathwater—disappointing and nobody wants in.”
• “I’d call you a catch, but people throw back garbage.”
• “You’re what happens when confidence meets incompetence.”
• “I’ve heard better lines from telemarketers.”
• “You’re like bad cologne—overpowering and unpleasant.”
• “I’d say you’re smooth, but sandpaper has more finesse.”
• “You’re the reason people set boundaries.”
• “I’ve seen more action from a lazy river.”
• “You’re like a wrong number—everyone hangs up immediately.”
• “I’d call you unforgettable, but therapy exists.”

45 Good Roasts That Hurt For Kids

• “You’re like a juice box—everyone squeezes you dry and tosses you.”
• “I’d call you smart, but crayons melt in the sun too.”
• “You’re the reason teachers need coffee.”
• “I’d say you’re cool, but ice cubes melt eventually.”
• “You’re like homework—nobody wants to deal with you.”
• “I’d call you sweet, but sugar ants are more pleasant.”
• “You’re the vegetable on everyone’s plate—ignored.”
• “I’d say you’re funny, but knock-knock jokes are better.”
• “You’re like a broken toy—nobody wants to play with you.”
• “I’d call you bright, but nightlights are more helpful.”
• “You’re the reason bedtime exists.”
• “I’d say you’re special, but everyone gets a sticker.”
• “You’re like brussels sprouts—nobody’s first choice.”
• “I’d call you talented, but breathing doesn’t count.”
• “You’re the reason timeout was invented.”
• “I’d say you’re unique, but so are all snowflakes before they melt.”
• “You’re like a pop quiz—unexpected and disappointing.”
• “I’d call you useful, but training wheels eventually come off.”
• “You’re the reason recess ends early.”
• “I’d say you’re neat, but messy rooms have more character.”
• “You’re like a participation ribbon—everyone gets one, nobody wants it.”
• “I’d call you brave, but nightlights exist for a reason.”
• “You’re the reason naptime is mandatory.”
• “I’d say you’re creative, but coloring outside the lines isn’t everything.”
• “You’re like a rainy day at the playground—everyone’s disappointed.”
• “I’d call you a star student, but stars eventually burn out.”
• “You’re the reason backpacks have name tags.”
• “I’d say you’re athletic, but walking counts for everyone.”
• “You’re like vegetables in candy—disappointing and unwanted.”
• “I’d call you the teacher’s pet, but pets are actually liked.”

45 good roasts that hurt and rhyme

• “You’re the kind of Redditor who visits NSFW subs and still manages to be unsexy.”
• “Your post history is more disturbing than a horror movie marathon.”
• “I’d say you’re active in niche communities, but some things should stay buried.”
• “You’re the reason people browse in incognito.”
• “Your comments are what happens when hormones meet no supervision.”
• “I’d check your profile, but some things can’t be unseen.”
• “You’re like an OnlyFans with no subscribers—desperate and ignored.”
• “Your DMs have more red flags than a communist parade.”
• “I’d say you’re popular, but bots don’t count as fans.”
• “You’re the reason ‘block user’ was invented.”
• “Your pickup lines belong in r/sadcringe.”
• “I’d rate your game, but zeros aren’t on the scale.”
• “You’re like a catfish—disappointing when the truth comes out.”
• “Your flirting has more fails than a blooper reel.”
• “I’d say you’re smooth, but your post history says otherwise.”
• “You’re the reason moderators lose faith in humanity.”
• “Your attempts at charm are more awkward than middle school dances.”
• “I’d call you wild, but zoos have standards.”
• “You’re like clickbait—promising everything, delivering nothing.”
• “Your confidence is inversely proportional to your success rate.”
• “I’d say you’re experienced, but participation doesn’t equal skill.”
• “You’re the embodiment of ‘weird flex but okay.'”
• “Your approach has more cringe than a family reunion karaoke.”
• “I’d call you bold, but reckless stupidity isn’t attractive.”
• “You’re like an unsolicited DM—unwanted and reported.”
• “Your moves are smoother than broken glass.”
• “I’d say you’re memorable, but for all the wrong reasons.”
• “You’re the reason people set profiles to private.”
• “Your game is weaker than airport WiFi.”
• “I’d compliment your effort, but desperation isn’t a strategy.”

45 Good Roasts That Hurt Dirty One Liners

• “You’re like a disappointing night—over before it started.”
• “I’d call you hot, but dumpster fires serve a purpose.”
• “You’re proof that not all biology works out.”
• “I’ve seen more action from a broken washing machine.”
• “You’re like cheap lingerie—falls apart under pressure.”
• “I’d rate your performance, but it never showed up.”
• “You’re what happens when confidence doesn’t match capability.”
• “I’ve heard better whispers from construction sites.”
• “You’re like warm champagne—disappointing and flat.”
• “I’d call you smooth, but friction burns exist for a reason.”
• “You’re the reason people fake emergencies.”
• “I’ve seen more fireworks from a wet match.”
• “You’re like a bad kisser—everyone knows, nobody tells you.”
• “I’d say you’re unforgettable, but repressed memories exist.”
• “You’re what inspired the term ‘low expectations.'”
• “I’ve felt more electricity from static cling.”
• “You’re like a deflated balloon—sad and floppy.”
• “I’d call you experienced, but years don’t equal improvement.”
• “You’re the reason people say ‘never again.'”
• “I’ve seen more rhythm from seizures.”
• “You’re like stale bread—technically edible, but why bother?”
• “I’d rate you average, but that’s generous.”
• “You’re what happens when hype meets reality.”
• “I’ve heard better moans from broken hinges.”
• “You’re like a cold cup of coffee—bitter and unwanted.”
• “I’d call you satisfying, but lies have limits.”
• “You’re the reason people lower their standards—then raise them again.”
• “I’ve seen more passion from tax returns.”
• “You’re like a plot twist nobody wanted.”
• “I’d say you’re worth it, but math doesn’t support delusion.”

45 Good Roasts That Hurt One Liners For Adults

• “You’re like a gym membership—expensive, unused, and full of broken promises.”
• “I’d call you successful, but your participation in failure is impressive.”
• “You’re proof that not all investments pay off.”
• “I’ve seen better decision-making from drunk people.”
• “You’re like a work meeting—pointless and everyone wishes you’d end.”
• “I’d say you peaked, but valleys have higher points.”
• “You’re what happens when confidence ignores reality.”
• “I’ve heard better excuses from politicians.”
• “You’re like an expired warranty—useless and everyone forgot about you.”
• “I’d call you mature, but wine ages better.”
• “You’re the reason HR exists.”
• “I’ve seen more growth from dead plants.”
• “You’re like a bad investment—everyone warns against you.”
• “I’d say you’re experienced, but repeating mistakes doesn’t count.”
• “You’re what inspired the phrase ‘midlife crisis.'”
• “I’ve heard better pitches from timeshare salespeople.”
• “You’re like a tax audit—nobody wants to deal with you.”
• “I’d call you wise, but fortune cookies have better advice.”
• “You’re the reason people drink at networking events.”
• “I’ve seen more ambition from retirement homes.”
• “You’re like a participation trophy in the game of life.”
• “I’d say you’re distinguished, but gray hair isn’t a personality.”
• “You’re what happens when potential expires.”
• “I’ve heard better stories from spam emails.”
• “You’re like a software update—nobody asked, nothing improved.”
• “I’d call you accomplished, but breathing is automatic.”
• “You’re the reason people question their choices.”
• “I’ve seen more impressive résumés from fictional characters.”
• “You’re like a delayed flight—frustrating and everyone’s complaining.”
• “I’d say you’re going places, but circular motion doesn’t count.”

45 Good Roasts That Hurt One-Liners Funny

• “You’re so funny, onions cry when they hear your jokes.”
• “I’d laugh at you, but my doctor said I need to cut back on toxicity.”
• “You’re like a comedy show—everyone leaves before the end.”
• “I’d call you hilarious, but my sense of humor has standards.”
• “You’re what happens when punchlines miss the joke.”
• “I’ve heard better comedy from funeral directors.”
• “You’re like a dad joke—painful and nobody asked.”
• “I’d say you’re funny-looking, but that insults clowns.”
• “You’re the reason laugh tracks were invented—to cover awkward silence.”
• “I’ve seen funnier tombstones.”
• “You’re like a knock-knock joke—everyone sees you coming and locks the door.”
• “I’d roast you, but you’re already well-done.”
• “You’re what comedians use as a bad example.”
• “I’ve heard better zingers from elevator music.”
• “You’re like a meme from 2010—outdated and not funny anymore.”
• “I’d call you a joke, but those usually have timing.”
• “You’re the reason comedy clubs have two-drink minimums.”
• “I’ve seen more wit from fortune cookies.”
• “You’re like a sitcom without the laugh track—just sad.”
• “I’d say you crack me up, but my face is just confused.”
• “You’re what happens when humor dies.”
• “I’ve heard better one-liners from autocorrect fails.”
• “You’re like a comedy roast—except nobody’s laughing with you.”
• “I’d call you entertaining, but watching paint dry has plot.”
• “You’re the reason people say ‘you had to be there’ when they weren’t.”
• “I’ve seen funnier tax forms.”
• “You’re like a banana peel—slippery and someone might slip on your attempt.”
• “I’d laugh at your expense, but you’re not worth the investment.”
• “You’re what happens when sarcasm meets sincerity and both lose.”
• “I’d say you’re a riot, but riots are at least organized.”