300+ Best Golf Puns and Jokes That'll Drive You Crazy

⛳ Welcome to Bestest Puns – Where Every Pun is a Hole-in-Fun!

Tee up for laughter with our “Golf Puns” collection—a club-worthy lineup of wordplay so sharp, it’ll drive you straight to the giggles! Whether you’re a fairway fanatic, a putt-er of puns, or just chipping in for some sporty humor, we’ve birdied the best jokes this side of the 19th hole.

From “iron”-ic one-liners to “fore”-get-about-it punchlines, these puns are par-fectly ridiculous—guaranteed to make you laugh until you’re under par or bunker down with delight!

So grab your imaginary caddy (or just a cold beverage—we don’t judge the handicap), settle into your comfiest golf cart, and get ready for humor so smooth, it should come with a gimme.

Warning: Side effects may include uncontrollable golf claps, sudden urges to yell “That’s tee-rrific!”, and developing a sand-trap addiction to wordplay.

🏌️ Fun Fact: Did you know golf balls were originally made of wooden beech? That means these puns have been fore-shadowed for centuries! Now that’s what we call a stroke of genius. 😆

Table of Contents

Golf Puns

You drive me crazy – on and off the course!
I’m in a tee-rific mood today!
I’m just here fore the golf.
Talk birdie to me.
You’re un-fore-gettable!
Keep calm and putt on.
Let’s par-tee all day long.
Swing it like it’s hot.
It’s a hole lot of fun!
Don’t be tee-dious.
Life’s rough when you’re stuck in the bunker.
Putter late than never.
Avoiding work like I avoid sand traps.
Just a little par-fect getaway.
Get in the hole – that’s what she clubbed.
The course of true love never did putt smooth.
It’s not just golf, it’s a lifestyle.
I wood never miss a round.
My short game is as bad as my dating life.
Irony: My irons are terrible.
Playing golf is my way of tee-ling with stress.
Nothing like a fairway to heaven.
I’m driver-ing you nuts, aren’t I?
I like big putts and I cannot lie.
My handicap? Being too awesome.
You’ve got balls to challenge me.
I’ve been known to swing both ways – fade and draw.
Just tee-sing, bro.
This putt’s for you.
Always up fore a good time.

Dad Golf Puns

I’m not old, I’m just under par.
Fore-ever the best dad!
Swing low, sweet chariot – or just the 7 iron.
Tee-ranny of dad jokes continues.
I’m hole-heartedly the best at this game.
Just trying to iron out my mistakes.
This game drives me nuts – like your mom’s meatloaf.
Par-don me while I tell another pun.
You putt up with me too much!
A day without golf is a day with-tee-out joy.
I’m in love with my driver – don’t tell your mom.
Golf is just like parenting: mostly guessing.
Let’s get this putty started!
I’m putting all my energy into this dad bod.
I’m not sand-trapped, I’m just relaxing.
Even my dad jokes have a good follow-through.
Chipping in some advice, son.
Fairway? I thought you said freeway.
You’re tee-lightful, kid.
Another slice? Must be dinner time.
Dads do it fore the love of the game.
Par-fect parenting starts with a good swing.
I always iron out my problems.
Holey moley, look at that drive!
Who needs therapy when you have golf?
I putt the ‘pro’ in procrastination.
The real club president: Dad.
My swing is classic – like my jokes.
Don’t worry, Dad’s got the course covered.
Fore-give me, I’m hilarious.

Birthday Golf Puns

Hope your birthday is a hole-in-one!
Tee up for another awesome year!
You’re par-tee central today!
A slice of cake and a slice off the tee.
You’re driving me to the birthday party!
Age is just another stroke.
Fore-get the past, celebrate today!
Another round? Of cake or golf?
Swing into a new year of fun!
May your birthday be up to par.
Putting you first today.
Bunker down – it’s party time!
You’re tee-rific at getting older.
Wishing you birdies and brownies.
Hope your age doesn’t handicap you.
You’ve earned another mulligan.
Club it like it’s your birthday.
Cake, candles, and cart rides.
You’re the ace of the day!
No need to putt up with aging.
Celebrate in full swing!
Let’s make this birthday fairway fun.
Born to golf, forced to grow old.
Drive into this year with joy.
Time for cake and cartwheels!
Keep swinging through the years.
Hope your day is well teed.
19th hole party time!
May your candle count stay under par.
Aging gracefully – like a well-worn glove.

Golf Puns Dirty

I like my balls clean and my jokes dirty.
That’s a hard drive… if you know what I mean.
I’m good with my wood.
She prefers a firm grip on her shaft.
Let’s get a hole-in-one tonight – wink wink.
My putter’s been very busy lately.
Keep your eye on my ball.
I’ve got a long iron and I know how to use it.
It’s all about the follow-through, baby.
Fore-play before the fairway.
You’ve got nice curves – on that swing.
Let’s get out of this rough together.
Careful, I might hook it.
My balls like a soft landing.
She really knows how to tee me up.
It’s not the size of the driver, it’s how you swing it.
Want to come back to my 19th hole?
I’m good at sinking things in tight spaces.
You can touch my flagstick anytime.
I swing both ways – depending on the wind.
That hole looks inviting.
Let’s go make some divots in private.
I like my bunkers deep.
She really knows how to polish my club.
I’ll let you grip it and rip it.
Wanna stroke my scorecard?
I’ve got balls – and I’m not afraid to show them.
Tee me up, big boy.
Let’s take this swing to the bedroom.
Just practicing my shaft control.

Fathers Day Golf Puns

You’re tee-rific, Dad!
Fore all you do – Happy Father’s Day!
Par none, you’re the best dad ever.
You’re my ace in the hole, Dad.
Swinging into Fatherhood like a pro!
You wood always be my hero.
Hope your Father’s Day is above par!
I’m your biggest fan – and caddie!
Let’s chip in some love for Dad today.
Thanks for never slicing the love.
You’re the driver of this family.
I inherited your swing – and your jokes!
You ironed out all my life’s wrinkles.
Putting love first since day one.
You’ve got the best grip on fatherhood.
You clubbed your way to greatness.
Carts, clubs, and Dad hugs!
This one’s fore you, Dad.
Hope your day is as smooth as your backswing.
You’re the par-fect mix of strong and sweet.
Our family’s under par thanks to you!
Let’s raise a club to you today.
Hole-in-one dad – every time.
Thanks for never letting me land in the rough.
You’ve always teed me up for success.
You’re more than just a fairway father.
No ifs, ands, or putts – you’re amazing!
Life’s better with you as my caddie.
Swinging by to say: I love you, Dad!
You’ve always had a great follow-through!

Happy Birthday Golf Puns

Swing into a great year!
Hope your birthday is up to par!
Another year, another round!
Don’t let aging putt you off.
Fore-get the candles, let’s tee up!
Hole lotta love coming your way.
Keep driving through life in style!
You’ve still got a tee-rrific swing!
It’s your par-ty – go birdie crazy!
May your score and age stay low.
Let’s chip in and celebrate!
Wishing you a putt-tastic birthday!
You’re the real club champ today.
Hope the year ahead isn’t rough.
Your age is still within regulation.
Fairway to another fabulous year!
It’s your turn on the green!
One more trip around the clubhouse sun.
Let’s raise a tee to you!
Cake and clubs, what a combo!
You’ve earned a mulligan… from the cake.
Fore more years of greatness!
Let’s swing into fun and frosting.
It’s a hole-in-fun kind of day!
You’re my birthday birdie!
Hope your birthday is bunker-free.
A birthday slice you’ll actually enjoy.
Make every year count – like strokes!
Putts and parties – what a game!
Hope your birthday is a hole lotta fun.

Mini Golf Puns

You’re a mini-putt of sunshine.
Small course, big laughs.
Putting in the work – one windmill at a time!
I’m a mini champion in a big world.
My love for mini golf isn’t tiny.
Tee-ny course, huge joy.
Swing small, dream big.
Who needs 18 holes? I just need 9 of fun.
Putt-putt till you drop.
That loop-de-loop was intense!
I’ve got a hole lotta love for mini golf.
Less distance, more fun!
It’s not the size of the hole, it’s how you play.
I’m tee-ny but mighty.
You windmill me over!
Putting through life’s little obstacles.
Mini golf – maximum memories.
Shrink the course, expand the fun!
Gimme that mini magic!
I’m a big putt on a tiny green.
Mini golf – major love.
Tee off with tiny dreams.
Small holes, big goals!
You’re my mini match.
Life’s a putt-putt journey.
Love at first swing.
Nothing mini about my competitiveness.
Putting through clowns like a boss.
I came. I saw. I mini-conquered.
Putt-er madness at its finest!

Card Golf Puns

You’re tee-rific – just had to card it!
Hope your day is above par!
Swinging by with some love.
You’re my ace on and off the green.
Fore-get worries, enjoy this card!
Your kindness deserves a birdie!
Sending a fairway full of hugs.
Life’s rough – here’s a card to lift you!
Let this card chip in some joy.
Your smile’s a hole-in-one.
Putt this card where your heart is.
Fore real – you’re awesome!
You’ve got the drive to do anything.
May your day be sand-trap free!
A little swing of happiness inside!
Hope this card gives you a green light.
Stay tee-positive today!
Sending love from the fairway.
Let’s putt a smile on your face.
This card is tee-rribly sweet.
You’re iron-clad awesome.
Chipping in with some cheer.
Just a par-fect note for you.
May your dreams never hook or slice.
Your support means the club world to me.
I’m in awe of your golf spirit.
Swing into greatness – like always!
Love, laughter, and low scores to you.
You’re my favorite golf buddy!
Here’s a hole lotta happiness for you!

Christmas Golf Puns

Have your “sleigh” on the fairway!
Swingin’ around the Christmas tree!
May your Christmas be up to par.
Santa brought a new driver!
Putt some jingle in your swing.
Holey night, it’s golfmas!
All I want for Christmas is a hole-in-one.
Wishing you a fairway of joy!
Let’s par-tee this holiday season.
I’m tee-lighted it’s Christmas!
Merry Christmas and club wishes!
Sleigh bells and slice-free swings!
Deck the halls with golf balls!
Green like the course, red like your score.
Jingle all the way to the 19th hole.
This holiday is un-fore-gettable.
Santa prefers a strong follow-through.
May your season be chipper!
Gift me a golf getaway!
Putter be good this year!
Let’s swing into the holiday spirit!
No bunkers allowed this season.
Let’s club together for cheer.
Golf carts full of presents!
You sleigh on and off the course.
Let it snow – but not on the fairway!
Fore the holidays, you’re #1!
Christmas on course is the best course.
Candy canes and caddies – yes, please!
Wishing you a tee-rific holiday!

Rude Golf Puns

You play like your putter’s drunk.
Your swing belongs in a horror movie.
That shot was so bad, it apologized mid-air.
You’ve got a slice that could feed a bakery.
I’ve seen better swings in a playground.
You couldn’t hit water if you fell out of a boat.
You treat the sand trap like a vacation spot.
Even the ball’s embarrassed by your shot.
Your swing needs therapy.
That shot was a crime against golf.
Your backswing called in sick.
Are you golfing or gardening with that divot?
I didn’t know the trees were your target.
Your golf cart moves faster than your swing.
I’ve seen better follow-throughs in politics.
That putt had commitment issues.
You’re driving everyone mad, not the ball.
Did you learn to swing from a YouTube fail?
You’re the reason they invented mulligans.
You’ve mastered the art of missing.
Your driver’s got trust issues now.
That wasn’t a chip – that was a potato toss.
You’ve got more bunkers than skills.
Don’t blame the club – it’s innocent.
Your aim is as lost as your last ball.
Your shot was so weak, it asked for a nap.
You just golfed your way into detention.
The fairway filed a restraining order.
That hook could fish for compliments.
You make the golf course cry.

Golf Jokes

Why did the golfer wear two pants? In case he got a hole in one.
How do golfers stay in shape? By hitting the gym and the greens.
Why don’t golfers ever get lost? They always follow the fairway.
What’s a golfer’s favorite type of music? Swing.
Why did the golf ball bring a suitcase? It was going on a trip.
What’s a golfer’s worst nightmare? A talking scorecard.
Why did the caddy quit? He couldn’t carry the weight of disappointment.
What do you call a bad golfer? A slice of humble pie.
What’s a golfer’s best pickup line? “Nice putt. Wanna tee off together?”
Why are golf balls so calm? Because they’ve been under pressure.
What do you call a golfing cat? A par-sian.
What’s a golfer’s spirit animal? The eagle.
Why don’t golfers ever get scared? They’ve faced every hazard.
What’s a golfer’s favorite game? Tee-ktoe.
Why did the golfer cross the road? To get to the 19th hole.
What does a golfer eat for breakfast? Par-faits.
How do golfers apologize? “Fore-give me!”
Why did the golfer bring an extra club? Just in case.
What’s a ghost’s favorite golf club? The boo-nker.
Why do golfers make terrible comedians? Their timing is always off.
Why do golfers love nature? They spend most of their time in it.
What does a golfer yell after an argument? “Fore-get it!”
Why are golfers great investors? They always know when to chip in.
What do you call a group of golfing cows? A mooo-lligan.
Why did the ball go to therapy? It had abandonment issues.
What’s a golfer’s favorite candy? Tee-cups.
How do golfers meditate? Deep putt thinking.
What do you get when you mix golf and fishing? A hole lotta fun.
Why do golfers always get invited to parties? They bring the clubs.
Why did the ball laugh? It was teed up.

Golf Jokes One-Liners

I hit two good balls – I stepped on a rake.
Golf: where you pay to be angry.
My golf game is like a Netflix series – full of drama and no ending.
Golf: the only sport where the goal is to play less.
I play golf because punching people is frowned upon.
I tried yoga, but golf lets me scream more.
My handicap? Mostly my swing.
My clubs have commitment issues.
I only play golf on days that end in “y.”
My golf game’s like a fine wine – sour and aged.
I don’t need therapy – just 18 holes.
I joined a golf club… it’s mostly regret.
Golf: where “birdie” means victory, not wings.
My ball’s a rebel – never follows orders.
I came, I swung, I lost.
I’ve got 99 problems and they’re all my swing.
Golf is life, minus the fun.
My driver’s broken – or I am.
It’s not me, it’s the wind.
I aim for the green, but end up in the woods.
I brought sunscreen, not skill.
Golf – the polite way to swear.
My swing should be illegal.
I play golf so my dog has something to laugh at.
If golf were easy, I’d still suck.
I treat bunkers like sandboxes.
I practice bad habits.
Every shot is a surprise.
I putt for pizza.
Golf is my cardio… and comedy.

Golf Jokes and Stories

I once hit a goose with a golf ball. It waddled away with more grace than my shot.
My buddy once yelled “Fore!” mid-swing. Turns out, he was warning himself.
I drove 300 yards… then walked it back to find my ball.
My grandpa told me golf builds patience – after throwing his club.
I once hit a hole-in-one – on a mini-golf clown’s nose.
I brought a rangefinder, but I still can’t find talent.
A squirrel stole my golf ball. Pretty sure it plays better than me.
Once asked for a mulligan on a handshake – golf habits die hard.
I bet on myself… lost twice.
I entered a local golf tourney. Left with a participation trophy and shame.

Short Golf Jokes Dirty

My swing is more awkward than a first date.
I treat my balls better than most relationships.
My putts are like pickup lines – weak and off-target.
I only golf to impress the cart girl.
Fore-play? That’s what I call tee time.
My driver’s longer than my last relationship.
I spent more time in the bush than on the green.
I hooked it harder than my last date.
I’d rather be under par than under pressure.
I may not score on the course – or in life.

Golf Jokes for Seniors

My swing’s old, but my jokes are older.
I golf slower so I remember where the ball went.
Every round is a walk down memory lane.
My ball’s got arthritis – it barely moves.
I golf for the exercise… and the naps after.
I bring more meds than golf balls.
My cart is faster than my knees.
I only swing because it beats bingo.
I’ve got more divots than hair.
I may be old, but I still drive better than my grandson.

Conclusion

Golf isn’t just a sport – it’s a par-fect blend of skill, laughter, and character. Whether you’re slicing shots, hitting holes-in-one, or just cracking punny jokes with your buddies, golf has a way of bringing joy both on and off the green. These puns and jokes are sure to make your golf game more fun, lighten up conversations, and tee-up some unforgettable memories.

Fun Fact About Golf

The longest recorded drive in golf history is 515 yards, hit by Mike Austin in 1974 – with a persimmon wood driver! That’s longer than five football fields… now that’s what you call a real drive!

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300+ Best Golf Puns and Jokes That’ll Drive You Crazy