270+ Ultimate Corny Jokes That Cross The Line

Welcome to Bestest Puns – Where Corny Jokes Shine Brightest!

Prepare to walk on the wild side of comedy—where the jokes are sharp, the punchlines are unpredictable, and the laughter comes with a side of guilty pleasure. This is the home of Corny Jokes—the kind that makes you groan before you giggle, roll your eyes, and then laugh anyway.

We don’t do safe, vanilla comedy here. Our humor is bold, twisted, and unapologetically cheesy, crafted for those who appreciate wit that dances on the line. Whether it’s delightfully silly observations, puns so sharp they could cut glass, or jokes that make people say “I shouldn’t be laughing at this…” (but they will), we’ve got you covered.

Fair Warning: If you’re easily offended, this might not be your cup of tea—but if you love humor that’s as corny as a field of maize and just as hearty, you’re in the right place.

Ready to embrace the cheesiness? Let the morally questionable laughter begin! 😈

Table of Contents

Corny Jokes

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity — it’s impossible to put down.
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
I would tell you a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine.
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish.
How do you organize a space party? You planet.
Why was the broom late? It swept in.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.
How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
Why don’t vampires attack Taylor Swift? She has bad blood.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead.

Corny Jokes for Adults

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
I asked the librarian if books about paranoia were available. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
Why don’t scientists trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kat ads.
Why did the coffee go to therapy? It was feeling latte and depressed.
I told my boss I needed a raise because three companies were after me. He said, “Which ones?” I said, “The electric, water, and gas.”
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.
Why did the banker switch careers? She lost interest.
I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I can’t put it down.
I’m on a whiskey diet — I’ve lost three days already.
Parallel lines have so much in common — it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
I tried to catch some fog yesterday. I mist.
Why did the scarecrow become a successful motivational speaker? Because he was outstanding in his field.
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
I told my wife she was overreacting. She screamed, “I am NOT!”
I told my wife she was acting like a detective — she said she was just being Sherlock.
Why did the man put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make liquid assets.
I would tell you a joke about chemistry, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
Why don’t graveyards ever get overcrowded? People are dying to get in.
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes — she gave me a hug.
I tried to start a professional hide-and-seek league, but good players are hard to find.
Why did the man run around his bed? Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep.
I once got fired from a canned juice factory — I couldn’t concentrate.
I told my wife she should relax and let me do the laundry — now she’s washing her hands of me.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
I have a joke about construction, but it’s still under development.
My wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall — I said maybe.
Why don’t some couples go to therapy? Because they just need a little space.

Corny Jokes for Kids

Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because it was stuffed.
What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle.
Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it!
How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
What’s brown and sticky? A stick!
Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
How do you organize a space party? You planet.
Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice.
What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
Why did the frog take the bus to work? His car got toad.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
Why was the broom late? It swept in.
What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
What did one plate say to the other? Dinner’s on me!
Why don’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? Because he had no body to go with him.
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!

Funny Corny Jokes

Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory.
Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.
What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead.
What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
How do you organize a space party? You planet.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
Why don’t vampires attack Taylor Swift? She has bad blood.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his mom was a wafer too long.
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine.
Why was the broom late? It swept in.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
Why did the man run around his bed? Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
Why don’t graveyards ever get overcrowded? People are dying to get in.
Why did the man put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make liquid assets.
I tried to catch some fog yesterday. I mist.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school!
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.

Best Corny Jokes

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity — it’s impossible to put down.
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
How do you organize a space party? You planet.
Why was the broom late? It swept in.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.
How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
Why don’t vampires attack Taylor Swift? She has bad blood.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead.
Why did the man run around his bed? Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep.
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.
I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I can’t put it down.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!

Morning Corny Jokes

Why don’t mornings ever get jealous? Because they always rise and shine.
I told my alarm clock a joke this morning — it didn’t laugh, but it did wake me up.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged before sunrise.
What’s a morning person’s favorite type of music? The daily grind.
Why did the toast break up with the butter? It found someone butter in the morning.
How does a rooster greet the morning? With a “cock-a-doodle-do!”
Why don’t mornings ever get stressed? Because they just let things slide off like dew.
What did the sun say to the morning? You brighten my day.
Why was the broom late this morning? It overswept.
Why did the donut go to work early? Because it wanted to glaze the competition.
What do you call a morning coffee that’s always on time? Punctual-latte.
Why don’t mornings ever gossip? Because they know how to keep it sunrise and shine.
What did the pancake say to the syrup? You make my mornings sweet.
Why did the orange stop halfway to work? It ran out of juice.
What did the egg say to the frying pan? You crack me up every morning.
How do you organize a morning party? You espresso yourself.
Why was the alarm clock afraid of the morning? Because it had a lot of tick-tock anxiety.
What do you call a morning meeting with coffee? A brew-haha.
Why did the coffee file a complaint? It was tired of being mugged every morning.
What do you call morning yoga for coffee lovers? Bean stretching.
Why did the cereal get in trouble? It was caught in a sticky morning situation.
What did the sunrise say to the coffee? Thanks for the daily pick-me-up.
Why did the donut go to therapy? It was feeling empty inside every morning.
What’s a morning person’s favorite type of bread? Toast with a side of pun.
Why don’t mornings ever get cold? Because they’re always warmed by a cup of joe.
How do mornings keep their hair neat? With a little dew spray.
Why did the alarm clock get promoted? Because it always showed up on time.
What’s a coffee’s favorite workout? The daily grind.
Why was the morning sky so blue? Because it had no coffee yet.
What do you call a tired morning? A snooze cruise.

Corny Jokes Dad Jokes Meme

I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
I would tell you a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
How do you organize a space party? You planet.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish.
Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.
What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.
Why was the broom late? It swept in.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead.
Why don’t vampires attack Taylor Swift? She has bad blood.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
Why did the man run around his bed? Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
Why did the man put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make liquid assets.
I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I can’t put it down.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes — she gave me a hug.
Why don’t graveyards ever get overcrowded? People are dying to get in.

Corny Jokes for Work

Why don’t some couples go to work together? Because some relationships don’t work out.
I told my boss I needed a raise because three companies were after me. He asked, “Which ones?” I said, “The electric, water, and gas.”
Why don’t scientists trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
I’m on a whiskey diet — I’ve lost three days already.
Why did the banker switch careers? She lost interest.
I tried to start a professional hide-and-seek league, but good players are hard to find.
Why did the man run around his desk? Because he was trying to catch up on his work.
Why did the calendar break up with the clock? Because it felt time was running out.
Why did the man put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make liquid assets.
I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kat ads.
Why was the office chair always tired? Because it couldn’t stand still.
Why don’t some employees ever get fired? Because they know how to cover their tracks.
What do you call an office meeting with no agenda? A snooze fest.
Why did the stapler break up with the paper? It just couldn’t hold it together.
Why don’t some workers trust elevators? Because they’re always up to something.
Why was the pencil late to work? Because it lost its point.
What do you call a computer that sings? A Dell.
Why did the coffee file a complaint at work? Because it was tired of being mugged.
Why don’t some office workers drink coffee? Because they’re already wired.
Why did the employee bring a ladder to work? Because they wanted to climb the corporate ladder.
Why don’t some people tell jokes at work? Because they don’t want to get fired up.
What’s a cubicle’s favorite exercise? Desk squats.
Why was the keyboard so good at its job? Because it had all the right keys.
Why did the employee take a nap under the desk? Because it was a power nap.
What do you call a boss who’s always calm? A cool manager.
Why did the printer break up with the paper? Too many jams.
Why was the file so good at hiding? Because it was always under cover.
Why don’t some meetings ever end? Because they’re stuck in a loop.
Why did the employee bring a suitcase to work? Because they were expecting a trip.
Why did the coffee file a police report at work? It got mugged.

Corny Jokes for Her

Why did the girl bring a ladder to the bar? Because she wanted to raise the bar.
I told her she was like a dictionary — she added meaning to my life.
What did the flower say to her boyfriend? I’m pollen for you.
Why did she bring a pencil to the party? To draw some attention.
Why was the girl always calm? Because she knew how to keep her cool.
What did one cupcake say to the other? You’re the icing on my cake.
Why did she bring a blanket to the date? Because it was a little chilly.
What do you call a girl who loves puns? Pun-derful.
Why was she the best gardener? Because she had a green thumb.
What did the necklace say to her? You complete me.
Why was she so good at telling jokes? Because she had perfect timing.
What do you call a girl who’s always smiling? Sunshine.
Why did the girl bring a ladder to the library? To reach new heights.
What did the coffee say to her? You warm my heart.
Why was she a great chef? Because she knew how to spice things up.
What did the star say to the moon? You light up my night.
Why did she bring a map to the date? Because she didn’t want to get lost in your eyes.
What did the lipstick say to her? You color my world.
Why was she so popular? Because she had a magnetic personality.
What do you call a girl who loves to dance? Rhythm queen.
Why did the girl bring sunglasses? Because her future was so bright.
What did the heart say to her? You make me beat faster.
Why was she always organized? Because she had it all together.
What did the earrings say to her? You make me sparkle.
Why was she the best at basketball? Because she had a good shot.
What did the song say to her? You’re my favorite tune.
Why did she bring a camera to the date? To capture the moment.
What did the bracelet say to her? You hold me together.
Why was she so creative? Because she thought outside the box.
What did the moon say to her? You brighten up my darkest nights.

Conclusion

Corny jokes might be cheesy, silly, and often groan-worthy, but they have a special charm that brings people together with lighthearted laughter. Whether you’re sharing them with friends, at work, or trying to entertain kids, these jokes remind us to not take life too seriously and enjoy the simple joy of a clever pun or a playful punchline. So keep your spirits high, your smiles wide, and don’t be afraid to drop a corny joke whenever you want to brighten someone’s day.

Fun Fact About Corny Jokes

The term “corny” originally referred to something old-fashioned or overly sentimental, often linked to the rural countryside (think “cornfields”). Corny jokes, with their simple, pun-based humor, reflect that wholesome, down-to-earth style, making them timelessly endearing — even if they make you groan!

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