370+ Best Heart Puns and Jokes That’ll Make You Skip a Beat!

Louisa

5 days ago

Table of Contents

**❤️ Welcome to Bestest Puns – Where Every Pun Beats with Love & Laughter!**

Get ready to pulse with joy over our “Heart Puns” collection—a ventricle-clever mix of wordplay that’ll make your funny bone skip a beat! Whether you’re a cardiac comedian, a blood-good pun lover, or just circulating for some heartfelt humor, we’ve pumped up the volume on jokes so fresh, they’re still artery-tingling.

From “aorta make you laugh” one-liners to “ventricle-y ridiculous punchlines, these puns are blood, sweat, and cheers—guaranteed to make you clutch your chest with giggles or fall head over heart with delight!

So grab your imaginary stethoscope (or just put a hand over your heart—we don’t judge the rhythm), settle into your coziest coronary nook, and prepare for humor so warming, it should come with a cholesterol warning.

Warning: Side effects may include uncontrollable heart-eyed emoji usage, sudden urges to whisper “That’s aorta-some!”, and developing acute pun-demic symptoms.

💓 Fun Fact: Did you know a woman’s heart actually beats faster than a man’s? That means these puns hit 120 BPM (Beats Per Merriment)! Now that’s what we call cardiovascular comedy. 😆

❤️ Heart Puns

I left my heart in the snack aisle—it was full of chocolate.
My heart beats for tacos.
You stole a pizza my heart!
I have a heart-on for you.
Don’t go breaking my tart!
I’m just a beat away from loving you.
You’ve aorta be mine.
I’m totally heart-smitten!
You make my heart race like a cheetah on caffeine.
You’re a cardiac snack!
You make my heart skip… like bad Wi-Fi.
My heart pumps for puns.
Cupid must be a DJ, cause my heart is spinning!
Be still, my overly dramatic heart.
My heart’s got more drama than a soap opera.
You cardiac-captured me!
My heart’s gone AWOL for you.
Don’t skip a beat over me.
Heart it through the grapevine.
I left my heart… in your DMs.
My heart is buffering.
Love you with my whole aorta.
You’re the main vein of my heart.
Our love? Totally vein-tastic!
I’m heart-working on loving you.
I’m atrium-ly obsessed with you.
Let’s ventri-cuddle!
Love flows through my arter-ease.
My heart’s all in, no bypass.
Don’t be a-fib—love me!

⭐ Best Pick: “You’ve aorta be mine.”

😂 Funny Heart Puns

You make my heart LOL.
Are you CPR? Because you take my breath away.
My love is no joke—unless it’s this pun.
I gave you my heart, and all you gave me was heartburn!
I’m a cardio-comedian.
My heart doesn’t play fair—it tells dad jokes.
I’m single… but my heart’s in a relationship with food.
You’re my type—blood type!
My heart’s skipping like it owes me rent.
You’re heart-to-handle.
You struck a chord… in my cardiac rhythm!
I heartly recognize myself anymore!
My crush? It’s more of a heart attack.
This heart beats to pun-lines.
My love life’s on life support.
You’re my heart-throb—literally!
Let’s not beat around the heart.
I’m having a pun-attack!
My heart’s got more twists than a thriller novel.
You hearten my day!
Love hurts… especially when it’s spicy food.
Don’t flatline our love!
You’re a real ticker-upper.
My heart’s GPS is broken—it keeps leading me to snacks.
You’re my cardio-crush.
My heart flutters more than butterflies.
Love’s in the air—call cardiology!
I have pal-puns-tations.
My heart can’t handle this cuteness!
You give me arrhythmia—in a good way.

⭐ Best Pick: “You make my heart LOL.”

💌 Heart Puns for Valentine’s Day

I only have eyes and ventricles for you.
You stole my heart, thief!
My love for you is open-heart!
I’m your valen-tick-er!
You’re my valentine artery.
Can I ventri-cuddle you forever?
Love you from my head to my heart.
I got a cardiac-crush on you!
My heart’s on fire—Valentine approved!
My heart belongs to chocolate (and you).
You fill the chambers of my heart.
Our love is myocardial magic.
You’re my skip-a-beat Valentine.
I heart you more than candy!
You cardiac-complete me.
I aorta send you chocolates.
You’ve atri-um’d my heart.
Ventricles and Valentine vibes!
You beat everyone else to my heart.
My heart’s RSVP’d to yours.
Love you to the last heartbeat.
My heart says YES-tamine!
You’re better than a heart-shaped pizza.
Cupid’s arrow hit my pacemaker!
Let’s atria-together this Valentine’s.
You cardio-cracked my cold heart.
Our chemistry is electric—and cardiac!
Love you with full blood flow.
No cholesterol can clog my love!
You fill my heart with Valentine vibes.

⭐ Best Pick: “You fill the chambers of my heart.”

💓 Heart Puns One Liners

My heart beats for pizza and bad decisions.
Love gave me palpitations—worth it!
I’m a sucker for anything with a heartbeat.
This heart’s under new management—you!
Heartbroken? Nah, just emotionally congested.
I’m a cardiophile—I love love!
You’re a total heart-throb-nado.
My pulse says yes, even when my brain says no.
Our love story? Straight from the heart.
My heart’s on permanent vacation.
It’s a fine line between cardiac and chaotic.
A healthy heart loves deeply—and eats chocolate.
My heart just RSVP’d to your smile.
This heart’s not for rent—it’s yours.
It’s heart o’clock somewhere!
Emotionally? I’m in AFib.
Just a heartbeat away from a nap.
My heart’s playlist is full of love songs.
Can’t stop, won’t stop this heartbeat.
I’m falling… rhythmically.
My heart got stuck on you.
I skipped a beat, then tripped.
My heart writes romantic comedies.
Love me, love my heartbeat.
I heart you like no other.
This heart only has room for snacks and you.
I love you with no strings—just veins.
We’re on the same wavelength—and heart rate.
My heartbeat spells your name.
Heart vibes only.

⭐ Best Pick: “This heart’s not for rent—it’s yours.”

🩺 Heart Puns Medical

You’re causing tachycardia—and I love it.
Be still, my medically monitored heart.
My love’s in sinus rhythm.
You give me the best kind of palpitations.
Don’t defibrillate my feelings.
Cardiologists have heart-to-hearts all day.
You’re my favorite kind of arrhythmia.
Let’s perform open-heart bonding.
You bypassed everyone else.
I’m flatlining for you.
I think I need an emotional ECG.
I’m your cardiac case study.
You make my heart go lub-dub-dub-dub.
Nurse, I’m in love—stat!
No stethoscope can measure this love.
You filled the void in my heart…literally.
My aorta sings for you.
Paging Dr. Love to Cardiology.
I’ve got a case of the cardiac flutters.
Your love is my pacemaker.
I’m experiencing acute attraction syndrome.
This love requires no prescription.
My heart’s in stable condition—thanks to you.
Atrial fibrillation never felt so romantic.
You’re in my heart, not my charts.
Vitals say I’m lovestruck.
I need a second opinion: Are you always this amazing?
My cholesterol’s rising—must be love!
Let’s code blue together!
I don’t need a stent, just your attention.

⭐ Best Pick: “Your love is my pacemaker.”

💘 Short Heart Puns

I heart this!
Love you, beat by beat.
You make my heart spin.
Cardiac cutie.
Full heart, can’t lose.
I aorta tell you—I’m in love!
Beat it? I love it!
You had me at lub-dub.
Cupid’s favorite beat.
Skip a beat with me?
Ventri-cute!
You stole my thump.
Be still, my snack-loving heart.
You’re so veintastic!
Ticker tricked for love.
High BP = Big Passion.
A crush with rhythm.
My cardio-companion.
This love is pumping!
Beat buddies for life.
I’m heartfully yours.
Just artery things.
Pulse pals forever.
Atrium-swoon!
I’m a beat behind—love struck!
Only love can do this.
Cardiac goals.
You’re heart-mazing!
Heartfully cheesy.
Be still, silly heart.

⭐ Best Pick: “You had me at lub-dub.”

🧒 Heart Puns for Kids

I love you with my whole heart—plus sprinkles!
My heart says you’re awesome!
You make my heart jump like jellybeans.
I heart school (on Fridays).
Don’t go bacon my heart!
You’re my heart’s BFF.
I love you berry much—with all my heart.
This heart beats for ice cream!
You make my heart giggle.
My heart is full of cupcakes.
I heart rainbows and puppies!
You’re the peanut butter to my jelly-heart.
My heart is super silly.
You light up my heart like a nightlight.
I heart cartoons!
You’re the best in my heart-book.
My heart thinks you’re a star!
I have a big heart for cookies.
You’re the cherry on my heart.
Let’s heart-party!
This heart dances when you’re near.
I heart hugs!
You make my heart do the floss dance.
You’re my heart’s superhero.
I love you more than recess!
My heart wears sunglasses—it’s that cool.
You put the fun in heart-fun!
You’re my #1 heart-friend.
My heart has googly eyes for you.
Love you with all my tick-tick heart.

⭐ Best Pick: “You make my heart giggle.”

😂 Heart Puns Funny

I’d follow my heart… but it has no GPS.
My heart’s unemployed but working overtime on you.
Love is in the air—must be pollen.
I don’t need Cupid—I’ve got caffeine.
My heart has bad taste—it chose you!
I’m emotionally regular… said no heart ever.
My heart beats to its own joke.
You cardiac-convinced me!
Our love is stable—on life support.
I used to have a heart… then I started dating.
My love? Non-refundable, like student loans.
This heart don’t need no gym—it races for free.
I thought it was gas—turned out to be love.
My heart talks in puns. Sorry not sorry.
Love gave me arrhythmia and sarcasm.
You’re a total heart-throb and my cholesterol!
My heart needs a vacation—too many feels.
Warning: Contents may include feelings.
You’re my blood-type of weird.
I’m committed—to cardiac jokes only.

⭐ Best Pick: “I thought it was gas—turned out to be love.”

Valentines Heart Puns

You’re my valen-fine!
You stole my heart, and I’m not even mad.
I aorta kiss you!
Love you heart and sole.
You’re my Cupid-cade.
My heart’s got you on speed dial.
You fill my heart like pizza fills my soul.
Be my cardiac companion!
Heart to heart, you’re the best!
You’re better than heart-shaped chocolate!
You got me throbbin’.
Valentine’s Day = Cardio Day.
You light my cardiac candle.
You’re my tick-tock Valentine.
This heart’s on a sugar rush.
You melt my heart like fondue.
I only have eyes and valves for you.
Love you to the last heartbeat.
Valentine? More like Heart-line.
You give me that lub-dub love.

⭐ Best Pick: “You fill my heart like pizza fills my soul.”

Heart Jokes Medical

Why did the heart get promoted? It always delivered!
What did the cardiologist say to the stubborn heart? Don’t skip a beat!
What’s a heart’s favorite exercise? Cardio, duh!
How does the heart stay fit? By pumping iron!
What did one heart say during surgery? “I’m open to this!”
Why did the heart go to therapy? It had commitment issues.
What’s a heart’s least favorite song? “Achy Breaky Heart.”
Why did the doctor break up with the heart? It was too clingy.
Why was the heart an overachiever? It never stopped working!
What kind of music does the heart play? Beat-box!

⭐ Best Pick: “What did one heart say during surgery? ‘I’m open to this!’”

😂 Funny Heart Jokes

I told my heart a joke. It skipped a beat!
What do you call a romantic artery? Vein-tine.
My heart walked into a bar… and fainted from love.
What’s red and goes thump in the night? My snack cravings.
How do you know a heart is lying? It skips!
I asked my heart how it’s doing—still beating itself up.
Why did the heart break up? Irregular rhythm.
Who’s the heart’s favorite singer? Taylor Throb.
I wore red so my heart wouldn’t feel left out.
Why did my heart get arrested? Excessive love!

⭐ Best Pick: “I told my heart a joke. It skipped a beat!”

Heart Jokes One Liners

I’m just a heart looking for my other valve.
The heart wants what it cholesterol.
Love is temporary. Heartburn is forever.
If I had a heart for every heartbeat… wait.
My heart’s in the right place—it just needs snacks.
Love is blind. So is my GPS.
My heart’s broken. Please send pizza.
I left my heart in the group chat.
I gave my heart away—no refunds!
Beat it… but gently.

⭐ Best Pick: “The heart wants what it cholesterol.”

Heart Jokes for Kids

What’s a heart’s favorite color? Red!
What did the heart say to the lungs? I’m pumped to see you!
What do you get when you cross a heart with a dog? Puppy love!
Why did the heart smile? It felt loved!
What’s a silly heart’s favorite sport? Heart-wheeling!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Heart. Heart who? Heart you having a good day?
Why did the heart bring a pencil? To draw love!
How does a heart text? With lots of ❤️ emojis!
Why do hearts make great friends? They’re full of love!
What’s a heart’s favorite shape? Heart-shape, of course!

⭐ Best Pick: “What do you get when you cross a heart with a dog? Puppy love!”

✨ Short Heart Jokes One Liners

I’m a heartbeat away from dessert.
Just skipped a beat—blame the crush.
My heart’s GPS is out of service.
Be still… nope, too excited.
My love is medically concerning.
You’re in my heart and my snack stash.
I heart nonsense.
Valentine’s? More like cardio crisis.
Pulse check: Yep, still obsessed.
Cardiac crush alert!

⭐ Best Pick: “My love is medically concerning.”

Conclusion

Heart Puns, From sweet and silly to medically clever and downright pun-derful, these heart puns and jokes are the perfect way to add humor, warmth, and clever wordplay to any content—whether it’s for Valentine’s Day, a kids’ classroom, medical professionals, or social media posts.

These puns are more than just laugh-worthy—they’re full of heart ❤️.

Fun Fact About Hearts

Did you know?
The average human heart beats about 100,000 times a day, pumping approximately 2,000 gallons of blood—which means it’s basically working out harder than you ever have!

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