300+ Pumpkin Puns and Jokes for a Patch of Laughs

Louisa

21 hours ago

Table of Contents

**🎃 Welcome to Bestest Puns – Where Every Pun is Gourd-geously Funny!**

Get ready to squash your giggles and vine through the most a-peeling pumpkin puns this side of the pumpkin patch! Whether you’re a basic autumn enthusiast, a latte-sipping PSL lover, or just here for some seedy wordplay, our “Pumpkin Puns” collection is packed with jokes so fresh, they still have vine on them.

From “gourd-eous one-liners to “pumpkin-spice”-and-everything-nice punchlines, we’ve harvested the cream of the crop—guaranteed to make you laugh until you’re orange in the face or pie-yourself with delight!

So grab your favorite flannel (or just pretend—we don’t judge-ment), settle into your coziest hay bale, and get ready for humor so wholesome, it should come with a whipped cream topping.

Warning: Side effects may include uncontrollable basic white girl energy, sudden urges to yell “That’s unbeleafable!”*, and developing a patch of pun addiction.

🍂 Fun Fact: Did you know the world’s heaviest pumpkin weighed 2,702 lbs? That’s enough pumpkin spice to caffeinate an entire basic village! Now that’s what we call heavy comedy. 😆

Pumpkin Puns

I’m just here for the gourd times.
Let’s give ’em pumpkin to talk about.
You’re the pick of the patch!
Don’t be a squash snob—pumpkins are classy!
Pumpkin spice up your life!
Life’s gourd with you.
No tricks, just pumpkin treats.
That’s how I roll-o-lantern.
Oh my gourd, I love fall!
You’ve got me hollow inside.
Feeling gourd-geous today.
Keep calm and pumpkin on.
This is un-be-leaf-able!
You’re my boo-tiful pumpkin.
A pumpkin a day keeps the witches away.
You’re squash-ing it!
The pumpkin patch is where I find my peace.
Gourd vibes only.
Let’s carve out some memories.
I’m hollow without you.
Stay gourd-geous, my friend.
Don’t squash my vibe.
The pumpkin party don’t stop.
Be the pumpkin in a world of squash.
Jack-o’-yeah!
Can’t stop this gourd train!
I’m falling for you like leaves.
You light up my lantern.
In pumpkin we crust.
My head is totally gourd-shaped today.

Pumpkin Puns for Kids

What a gourd-geous day!
I’m a little pumpkin in a big patch!
Too cute to spook.
Pumpkin hugs and spicy kisses.
You’re the cutest in the patch!
Gourd times ahead!
I’m a jack-o-laugh!
Patch me if you can!
You’re pumpkin-tastic!
Gourd you believe it’s fall?
Smashing pumpkins? Not on my watch!
The boo crew loves pumpkins!
Have a fang-tastic fall.
Pumped for pumpkins!
Jack-o’-fun incoming!
I’m a patch pro!
You’ve got pumpkin appeal.
Squash goals!
Spice, spice baby!
Fallin’ for pumpkins!
I’m the patch’s MVP.
Frighteningly fun!
Trick or treat yo’ pumpkin!
My pumpkin brings all the kids to the patch.
Sweet as pumpkin pie!
Carving out some fun!
Let’s patch things up.
Who’s ready to pumpkin roll?
So gourd to see you!
Jack-o’-yes!

Pumpkin Puns One-Liners

I’m pumped for pumpkins!
Gourd of the rings.
Jack-o’-late to the party!
You’re simply boo-tiful.
Don’t be hollow-headed!
Let’s get lit, jack-o’-style.
This is squash-tastic!
My gourd, it’s fall already!
I’m not scared, I’m carved!
Love you more than pumpkin pie.
Pumpkin it real!
You make me hollow happy.
Squash me, I’m dreaming.
I’ve got patch power!
Eat, drink, and be pumpkin.
Too gourd to be true.
You spice up my autumn!
Call me the patch master.
Jack-of-all-trades, master of pumpkins.
Patch perfect!
Pumpkin up the volume!
Boo-tanical gourd-en.
Keep your pumpkin spice, I prefer jokes.
I’m just jackin’ around!
Stop gourd-ing around!
Welcome to the jack zone.
Don’t be basic, be a pumpkin.
Straight outta the patch.
Let’s pumpkin roll tonight.
Trick me once, shame on boo!

Funny Pumpkin Puns

I got a gourd feeling about this.
If you’ve got it, haunt it—with pumpkins!
I’m on a pumpkin cleanse—just spice and laughter!
I’m a-patch-iated for your friendship.
You’re smashing, like a pumpkin!
My heart beets for pumpkins—sorry, veggies!
I’m feeling lit… like a jack-o’-lantern.
Pumpkin: nature’s spiciest mood booster.
You’ve been punkin’d!
Will you pumpkin my ride?
I’m patch-fully yours.
Spicing things up one pumpkin at a time.
I’m falling hard for pumpkin season.
This squash is bananas.
You’re the great pumpkin of my life!
Pumpkin is my cardio.
Can’t squash this vibe!
I’m totally gourd with it.
You glow, pumpkin!
Pumpkin spice and all things bright.
I’m boo-ted up with my pumpkin.
Gourd times roll deep.
Let’s squash the competition.
My mood? Pumpkin everything!
No one can jack my style.
Orange you glad it’s fall?
All patched up and ready!
S’gourdy, not sorry!
I’m a-lantern-ative thinker.
Carving out success—pumpkin style!

Cute Pumpkin Puns

You make my heart glow like a jack-o’-lantern!
You’re pumpkin-perfect!
I’m your little boo-tato!
Love you a pumpkin spice latte!
Pumpkin kisses & harvest wishes.
Cuter than a baby pumpkin.
Gourd you be mine?
I love you more than PSL.
Patch pals forever.
You’re the pumpkin of my pie!
Boo-tiful and gourd-geous!
My heart skips a beet… for pumpkin.
Let’s cuddle and carve.
Sweeter than spiced pie!
Squashing over you!
I carrot about you a pumpkin lot.
You’re my patch mate.
Feeling cute, might carve later.
Falling in love, patch by patch.
Hug me, I’m hallow.
Spicing up my heart!
Pumpkin me softly.
You’re my favorite squash blossom.
So cozy, so cute, so pumpkin!
Love grows in pumpkin patches.
My little punkinhead.
You’re the cutest one in the patch.
I’m all gourd up for you.
Let’s squash the distance.
You had me at pumpkin.

Pumpkin Puns for Instagram

#SquashGoals
#OhMyGourd
#CarvingItUp
#SpiceSpiceBaby
#GourdVibesOnly
#BasicBooThings
#JackOLanternGlowUp
#LitLikeMyLantern
#GourdonDuty
#OrangeCrushSeason
#FallingForPumpkins
#PumpkinQueen
#BooCrewGoals
#GlowGoals
#SmashHitSeason
#PatchPlease
#CarvedWithLove
#SquashSnaps
#Boo-tifulMoments
#HauntedButCute
#SpiceSzn
#AllHailThePumpkin
#PatchLifeChoseMe
#JackIsBack
#TrickAndTreatYourself
#FallMoodActivated
#SweaterWeatherSquash
#PSLandPumpkins
#GlowModeOn
#CreepItCute

Halloween Pumpkin Puns

I’m just here for the boo-levard of pumpkins.
You’ve got that haunted glow!
Don’t ghost me, pumpkin.
Feeling witch-y with my pumpkin crew.
Mummy loves pumpkin spice!
Pumpkin spice and sinister nights.
Don’t be a scaredy-squash!
I’ve been waiting all year to glow up.
Welcome to the patch of doom!
Creep it real—carve it better.
The only thing scarier than ghosts? No pumpkins.
Gourd of the grave!
Eat, drink, and be pumpkin!
I’m all about that jack life.
Spice to meet you, witches!
Keep it creepy, keep it carved.
Witches love PSL too.
Patch out, witches!
No tricks, just patch magic.
You had me at boo.
Let’s have a gourd night!
Dead tired but PSL ready.
Jack be nimble, jack be lit!
Hauntingly delicious.
Creep it spicy!
Boo yah, pumpkin style!
Fang-tastic fall feels!
I’m gourdly possessed.
Just creepin’ through the patch.
Full moon, full spice, full pumpkins!

Pumpkin Jokes

Why did the pumpkin cross the road?
To spice things up on the other side!
What do pumpkins use to fix their homes?
A pumpkin patch!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport?
Squash!
Why don’t pumpkins ever gossip?
Because they don’t want to squash anyone’s reputation.
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre?
Anything with a twist ending!
Why did the pumpkin sit alone at lunch?
It needed some gourd time.
What do pumpkins do at a party?
Get lit!
Why did the pumpkin get promoted?
It had gourd leadership skills.
What do you call an artistic pumpkin?
A jack-of-all-trades!
Why did the pumpkin go to school?
To become a smartie-pie.
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite dance?
The mash!
How do pumpkins flirt?
With sweet gourd-lines.
What do you call a pumpkin with abs?
A jack-o’-lantern.
Why did the pumpkin break up?
It couldn’t squash its feelings anymore.
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite accessory?
Spice!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite instrument?
The gourd-ian harp.
What did the pumpkin say to its crush?
You light up my lantern.
Why was the pumpkin bad at basketball?
It kept getting squashed.
Why did the pumpkin blush?
It saw the pie crust!
What do you get when pumpkins party too hard?
Smash-o’-lanterns.
How does a pumpkin start a letter?
Dear Gourdmate…
Why did the jack-o’-lantern fail the test?
Because it was hollow-headed.
What do you call a lazy pumpkin?
A plumpkin.
Why do pumpkins never lie?
They like to keep it honest to the core.
What’s the pumpkin’s motto?
Glow with the flow.
How did the pumpkin know it was in love?
It felt a hollow inside when they left.
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
A squash hit.
How does a pumpkin unlock its potential?
By getting carved up!
Why did the ghost hang out with pumpkins?
Because they’re gourd company.
What did the therapist tell the pumpkin?
You need to open up more.

Pumpkin Jokes for Kids

What’s orange and goes boo?
A spooky pumpkin!
How do pumpkins travel?
By pumpkin-jet!
Why are pumpkins good at music?
They have great gourd notes.
What did the little pumpkin say to the big one?
You’re my role gourd-el!
How do pumpkins cheer each other up?
With patch hugs!
Why did the pumpkin get a time-out?
It was being a little seedy!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite subject?
Art of carving!
How does a baby pumpkin laugh?
With a “gourdle” sound!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite game?
Hide and gourd!
What did one pumpkin say to the other at recess?
Let’s roll!
How does a pumpkin get ready for school?
It brushes up on its patchwork.
Why was the pumpkin crying?
It was feeling hollow.
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite holiday?
Smashgiving!
What’s the best pumpkin superpower?
Glow-in-the-dark!
Why was the pumpkin laughing?
It heard a corny joke!
What did the pumpkin dress up as?
A boo-tiful monster!
Why are pumpkins good students?
They always patch in.
What do pumpkins do on vacation?
They relax in the patch.
What did the little pumpkin do on Halloween?
Trick or treat, of gourd!
How does a pumpkin answer the phone?
“Gourd morning!”
What kind of car does a pumpkin drive?
A jack-o-jeep!
What do you call a ghost who loves pumpkins?
A boo-kin fan!
How do pumpkins stay warm in fall?
With a spice scarf!
What’s a pumpkin’s bedtime story?
Jack-o’-and-the-beanstalk!
What makes a pumpkin giggle?
A tickle from a leaf!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite shape?
Spooky-circle!
Why did the pumpkin hide?
It didn’t want to be pie!
What does a baby pumpkin sleep in?
A patch crib!
What do pumpkins do after school?
Play squashball!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite movie?
Finding Gourd-o!

Pumpkin Jokes Dirty (Mild & Playful)

This pumpkin’s got curves in all the right vines.
I like my pumpkins like I like my jokes—extra spicy.
Don’t touch my gourd—unless you mean it.
Jack-o’-lantern? More like jack-o’-babe.
That pumpkin’s got some serious seed appeal.
Call me Cinderella—I only ride in round things.
I just came to spice things up… and carve a little.
Got that glow-up, now let’s get hollow.
I like it when you roll me over in the patch.
Let’s carve out some… alone time.

Halloween Pumpkin Jokes

What do jack-o’-lanterns do after Halloween?
Light up the afterparty!
Why did the vampire bite the pumpkin?
For a spiced latte shot!
What’s a ghost’s favorite pumpkin?
Boo-tiful Jack!
What do zombies say to pumpkins?
Nice brains, gourd!
How do witches make pumpkin soup?
In a scare-y pot!
Why was the jack-o’-lantern jealous?
The candle liked another pumpkin.
What did Dracula say to the pumpkin?
You’re glowing tonight!
What’s Frankenstein’s pumpkin called?
Patch-stein!
Why don’t pumpkins haunt people?
They don’t have the guts!
How do pumpkins go trick-or-treating?
With monster style!

Short Pumpkin Jokes for Adults

I’m not saying I’m a snack—but I’m definitely a pumpkin pie.
Ever seen a pumpkin this thick?
Come carve me sometime.
I glow harder at night.
Fallin’ for ya… like a dropped pumpkin.
Pumpkin spice and adult advice.
This gourd knows the score.
Swipe right on patch-perfect.
Feeling naughty, but make it pumpkin.
I’m not basic, I’m seasoned.

Puns Pumpkin Jokes

Let’s squash this awkward silence.
I’m carved out of patience!
Glow hard or glow home.
Keep it pumpkin real.
You’re patching above your weight.
Spice things up already!
Don’t jack my vibe.
Gourds just wanna have fun.
Carve diem!
You light up my patch!

Kids Pumpkin Jokes

Why did the pumpkin wear glasses?
To improve its patch-vision!
What do you call a happy pumpkin?
A jolly-o’-lantern!
How do pumpkins fix broken hearts?
With squash tape!
Why do pumpkins never lie?
They’re too honest to seed!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite bedtime routine?
Glow, brush, patch, sleep!
Where do pumpkins go on vacation?
Gourdiva Island!
What do you call a ghost-pumpkin combo?
A spooky gourd!
How does a pumpkin say “I love you”?
With all my gourd!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite animal?
A boo-kitty!
Why are pumpkins so cool?
Because they always chill in the patch!

Conclusion

From gourd vibes to jack-o’-hilarity, pumpkins aren’t just for pie—they’re packed with pun potential! Whether you’re spicing up your social feed, tickling a kid’s funny bone, or carving out a laugh during Halloween, these pumpkin puns and jokes deliver squash-buckling fun for everyone. When fall rolls around, keep this patch of laughs handy—because life’s too short not to pumpkin around!

Fun Fact

Did you know? The world’s heaviest pumpkin weighed over 2,700 pounds (1,226 kg)! That’s heavier than a small car—and enough pumpkin pie to feed a whole haunted village!

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